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Tweets and Jokes from 2014 – part 2

January 24, 2015

Miley Cyrus to duet with Madonna on MTV Unplugged. Instead of a wrecking ball, though, Miley will swing from Madonna’s boobs.

As a citizen, not pleased with the government’s spying programs. But as a writer, I’m just glad someone is reading my work.

The cost of being a rabid Apple fan can really add up, reported a tech journal. Not because of the expensive products, but from constantly being punched in the face.

A survey found that half of men like shopping, have cried in the last month and hate strip clubs… and I learned you shouldn’t poll husbands in front of their wives.

A research paper said MTV’s “16 and Pregnant” had prevented thousands of teen pregnancies. You know what else did? My low sperm count.

Mike Huckabee defended his position on ‘women not being able to control their libido’ by saying he’s seen all six seasons of Sex and the City.

You’d think with that 10 million dollar bounty, those Bigfoot hunters would have already found Dean Cain’s acting career.

Want to thank the Oscars and the movie Mandela for reminding the world just how important U2 is.

Took Rorschach test for a Krispy Kreme job. Now I can’t look at a bakers dozen of donuts without seeing six lesbian couples and their lonely friend.

Kanye is suing over a ‘Coinye West’ bitcoin saying it damages his reputation. Bitcoin counter sued for his ˜Bound 2″ video, citing the exact same reason.

Why is it so damn hard to find a Groupon for Gymkata classes?!!!!

There are only two kinds of people in this world. Those who love Bugles and idiots.

karate and tree

In what can only be an act of revenge, a tree chopped a Karate studio in half   #HurricaneIselle #Hawaii

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