Starting to market my kick-ass-supernatural-action flick, HELLBREAKER$.
What’s it about?
A team of fallen angels jailbreaks souls from Hell – for a price. But when they realize they’re pawns in a scheme to free Lucifer, they run their final mission… to stop the seventh seal from being broken.
Check out the script right here! HELLBREAKER$ (PDF LINK)
Here’s our pitch:
Getting into Hell is easy. Breaking out is the hard part.
Even if you’ve got a mercenary team of fallen angels sent to save your sorry soul.
Meet Alandreal and her gang of Hellbreakers. They lost house privileges when they gave up their wings, but still have access to the basement. Now their business is being bad.
But when their latest mission reveals the seals binding Lucifer are being destroyed — and they’ve been duped into doing it — business becomes personal.
Someone has been using them. Playing the ultimate end game… Armageddon.
Only our fallen angels can stop it. And in the process, rediscover their true calling as the protectors of humanity.
“The writing craft in HELLBREAKER$ is particularly strong. The writers have a firm grasp on how to write pulsating action sequences, while still having enough white on the page to make this a quick and engaging read.” (Coverage Ink reviewer)
“HELLBREAKER$ is an extremely fun and lightning quick read…Where this script truly excels is in its visual storytelling. The action sequences, chase scenes and battles are expertly constructed…could easily be the first script in a series.” (Blcklst reviewer)
The Wall
Maester Aemon fires up his raven mail app and has the latest click-bait news article read to him. “Daenerys Targaryen refuses to leave until the freedom of the former slaves is secure. YOU WON’T BELIEVE what she does next!”
Mereen
Denarys opens up a new restaurant for her dragons. The most popular item, Heads of Prominent Families burgers. Only served one way. Well done.
Later, she decides to marry one of them when he falls to his knees and begs for his life. “Shhhh,” she says, “you had me at ‘I don’t want to die’.”
Grey Worm then confesses his love to Missandei by basically saying the same thing, except in Valyrian… this show might be getting a little lazy.
Winterfell Inn
Brienne scribbles down some lyrics to what will become an REO Speedwagon song — “you’re a candle in the window, on a cold and dark winter’s night.” When she’s struck with an idea! Send a candle to Sansa and tell her to light it whenever she’s in trouble. Hopefully, Sansa will have no problems during the day… or when Brienne is peeing… or sleeping… or scolding Pod. I can’t fight this feeling that it’s a really stupid plan.
Winterfell Castle
I have nipples Sansa. Can you milk me? Um. that wasn’t a question.
Sansa has the most awkward dinner since Meet the Parents.
Later though, we get such a nice father-son bonding moment between Roose and Ramsay Bolton that I forgot I was watching Thrones. It’s these quiet scenes that remind me of the good— you hanged WHO’s husband then did WHAT under the same tree? Thank the gods GRR Martin did not write the tv show How I Met Your Mother.
Back at the Wall
Gilly keeps interrupting Sam while he’s getting his study on, like a dude trying to watch Game of Thrones and getting asked ‘who’s that guy?’ and ‘why did he kill him?’ and ‘do you think she’s hot?’, but I might be personalizing this recap a bit.
The producers of the show decide that Stannis finally had enough conversations with all the major characters there and it’s time to head south to beat winter. Is that a snowflake?
Works on fungus & greyscale!
Row Row Row Your Boat
And finally, we’re with Jorah and Tyrion, sailing through Middle Earth. When they run into some Stone Men and narrowly escape. Though I’m betting Jorah now wishes he hadn’t made fun of those Jublia commercials during the Super Bowl.
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Until next time…
Still not as creepy as that Burger King mask
So we start out on Some Beach
With Ser Jorah knocking out a random dude, leaving behind coins for a boat rental. And that’s why I never advertise anything on Craigslist.
In another ship
Jamie and Bronn talk about geography and what Dorne is known for – fighting and f*cking. In my home state of Maryland our official sport is jousting and we’re famous for crabs. So, pretty much the same thing.
Also, I’m guessing they are sailing near Egypt, because Jamie is in denial. He pretends Myrcella is his niece and then denies setting Tyrion free. De-nial, De-Nile… see what I did there?
I’ll see myself out.
At King’s Landing
It’s Open Mic Night! Mace Tyrell tries his hand at a joke which falls flat. Or did it kill? Because he’s sent off to the Iron Bank with that King’s Guard who’s known for being all murdery.
Cersei then dispatches Jonathan Pryce to enforce religious justice by arresting Loras Tyrell, trashing the brothels and breaking all of the kegs. But really, did they have to go after that poor Etsy artist too?
King Tommen politely asks those Stargate SG-1 fanboys (you know, the bald guys with those weird forehead tattoos) if he can see the High Sparrow. They tell him to frack off. Instead of cutting them down Joffrey style, he retreats and decides to pout then write a strongly worded letter. The Lannister boys really are the Goldilocks of Westeros, one was Vladimir Putin, the other the UN.
The Wall
Melisandre’s boobs! Melisandre’s boobs! Melisandre’s boobs!
Then some other stuff happened.
