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If Romney Wins…

November 5, 2012

My predictions for America if Romney wins. 

  • Vacations will now be called ‘power down’ periods & birth certificates will include your ‘date of manufacture’.
  • The Mars rover will be sent a coal shovel and furnace to run itself instead of using that ridiculous solar panel.
  • Paul Ryan will admit he was one of the ‘bright eyes’ kids in the Total Eclipse of the Heart music video.
  • Underwear sales, lots of them.
  • The vice president’s residence will have a parkour course installed.
  • The Wizard of Oz will be re-made, with the tin-man finding all the oil he needs on the witch’s federal lands.
  • Skynet gets activated.
  • Tea Partyers will celebrate like it’s 1799.
  • In a single moment of bi-partisan agreement, congress passes legislation nominating Donald Trump as our official doucebag, joining France’s Gerard Depardieu on an international tour.

 

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From → Humor

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