Tweets and Jokes from 2014 – part 1

1 minute

The new Pope said it’s okay to breast feed at the Vatican. What’s still not allowed? Men dressed as giant babies.

Justin Bieber’s home was raided after a neighbor accused him of egging. Police found no evidence, just the Biebs eating a breakfast of toast, bacon & ten pound omelet.

A new iPhone case uses heat vision to see images, even through clothes. So much for hiding confession boners, said my priest.

Can’t help but think Gravity would have been a completely different film if it had been set in a bouncy castle.

A woman went to the ER for having a three hour orgasm. Her husband was later sent to the same ER with a shoulder injury from all the high-fives.

Mitt Romney attended the premiere of bio doc MITT. Moved, he was seen shedding lubricant from his optical socket, then powered down for the night.

The NSA was caught having implanted software on 100,000 computers. Not to worry, they said, it was just for extra Candy Crush lives for Joe Biden.

trace adkins brawl tmz
Trace Adkins involved in Cruise ship brawl with an impersonator. Worse, TMZ uses arrow to point out the real Trace Adkins.